Universal Life Coach [Negoita Mihai Alexandru]

How to persuade others ? Part 2

As i promised you, today i’ll give you the exacts methods you could use to influence others to do as you intend ( i hope you’ve got good intentions )

#1 Reciprocity
- If you do something nice for them, they will feel obligated by social conditioning to do something nice for you
- If you want people to behave in a certain way, act first to set an example
- Whenever you do something for somebody don’t say: “No worry!” but instead say: “I’m sure you would have done the same if it was the other way around!”
- Ask a huge favor first that you know they will refuse then your real request that will appear a lot smaller than it actually is.

#2 Scarcity
- People are more motivated more to do not loose rather gaining the same thing (for example you would be more motivated to do not loose 100$ then to make 100$)
- Tell them what they will loose if they don’t listen to you, rather than winning if they do
- Tell them the information is Exclusive!, it’s amazing how people react if they hear it’s exclusive.

#3 Authority
- Tell them about your background before you say what you have to say to place you as an expert
- Bring up small cons of what you have to offer to show that you are honest

#4 Consistency
- People are more likely to do what you want them to do if it’s congruent with your personality
- Make them write what they have to do, down, this way it becomes a personal commitment not just words…

#5 Consensus
- People look at others to see what to do, how to react, show them other people that are reacting in a way that shows you are right.

#6 Liking
- We like people that are like us, we feel familiarly with them, but don’t force it or you appear as fake

To remember
- The problem is to remember to use them
- They work for all cultures, only their priority differs
- What can you do when they aren’t giving? Make your actions seem as favors to them, not that they are entitled to receive.

These were the techniques you could use to persuade others to stop bad habits, sell them a good product, convince them to take action, and so on. Try to use them for good purposes

How to persuade others ? Part 1

Persuasion and manipulation is present in our everyday lives, we try to see a favorite TV show, but right in the middle of the interesting part, the show is being interrupted by some fancy ads, trying to make you buy stuff you wouldn’t even need or want, but they show it so cool, look at all those happy people, you have to have it!

Even if you see the manipulation and try to avoid it, it will still go into your subconscious mind, and the next time you would want to buy a quick snack, what are you more likely to buy? a brand you didn’t know it existed 5 minutes ago, or the mega super duper brand you saw they advertise? I’ll let you ponder on this hard question

People have basic needs and the rest, that are not vital for survival and if you lived in a cave, you wouldn’t even have them! WHAT? Yes, you’ve heard me, happy people wouldn’t buy 99% of the stuff out there, but the economy must grow, the wealthy need to get wealthier, what is there to do? Fortunately for our economy, they’ve invented the third best thing, after the wheel and toast: CREATING NEEDS THROUGH MANIPULATION !

Evrika! Now we can create needs in people, so they will buy as much as their pocket can afford, but why stop there? A lot more than they can afford, multiple debit cards, mortgage their house, take 30 years loans, maybe even sell their soul directly to the devil! And happiness is such a small price to pay, when massive money is to be made! That’s what evil rich people think, you can see it clearly through their actions and the results they want to achieve.

But nothing is black or white, manipulation has a good side, called PERSUASION, and it means convincing people to do stuff that will help them long term, isn’t that a change in philosophy?

Soon i’ll post part 2 of “How to persuade others”, in which i will give you the exact methods, explained in a easy way of how you can persuade others to replace bad habits with better ones, and of course, why not, create value for you as well!

Nobody trust you that you will succeed? Use it as an advantage!

Do you have a dream? Of course you do, we all have! Do others trust in you that you will succeed? I highly doubt it that most people will believe in you, trust me i know. But this is not important, the important question that you must ask yourself is this: Do i trust myself 100% that i will succeed, and that i will not stop until i find a way? This is the only question you must be positively and without doubt, because it doesn’t matter what they think, it matters how you think and what you do.

Think of all the great achievers, do you think people trusted them when they told: “I will change the world!”, do you really think so? D you think that the more people trust in you, the more chances of succeeding you’ll have? Certainly not. Others believing and supporting you helps, but it’s not so important, not at all, if you really want to prove others, don’t worry, they will believe after they see the results of you smart work!

For example my dream is to be financially independent trough passive income, to become a leader, to have the power to change other people to live life to the fullest as well.

What’s your dream? And are you absolutely sure it will come true soon?

Catalin Nadjan

I totally agree on this. All that matters in the end is how much do you believed in yourself, but ...

26 June 10 at 11:47

Can’t finish an ebook, audiobook, or seminar ?

Can’t finish an ebook, audiobook, or seminar ?

I’ve heard a lot of guys complaining about the fact that before they finish reading an ebook for example, they start another and forget about the old one even if they get very excited about it in the first place.

Yes it happens to a lot of us, even to me sometimes. Here’s why i think this occurs:

1. We got the motivation to take that course but not the discipline to finish it. Motivation doesn’t last more than 2-3 days, discipline lasts for a life time, think of it like a muscle, it must be trained with small weights at first then bigger and bigger 

2. Not organized, if you’re pc is a mess and don’t keep track then it’s a mess. Mine isn’t very clean because i have a lot of files from different topics, but i use a special tool called Everything.exe, that helps me find anything i need in my pc in real time. Also very important i keep track of i’ve read/hear/seen in a txt file.

3. You’ve discovered it isn’t that great, or it’s not for you, then it’s normal. Also if you get mad that you couldn’t do some exercises like you wished (this happened to me at photo reading), your ego will put off steam and you can’t concentrate on that course any more.

4. Fear. You are afraid of being too good because you might get isolated by others, it isn’t true, but your subconscious mind doesn’t believe that. My philosophy: ” Hero or bust!” 

Another solution would be to just finish it right then if it is humanly possible, this way you’d be sure you’ve absorbed all it’s knowledge. You might need to increase your reading speed, like i’ve talked here: http://universallifecoach.com/2009/12/edit-post-delete-post-report-this-post-information-reply-with-quote-read-a-125-page-book-in-45-minutes-without-brakes/

Are you working for yourself or for somebody else?

” I need a job ” -> Too familiar isn’t it?

Who do you really work for everyday? Is it for you? or is it? If you are not working towards your goals and dream then you are simply working for someones else dream. Is this your dream? working 8 hours a day, even more for so little cash reward? I don’t know if you see it, i talked to a lot of people yet they didn’t understood. I don’t know how you feel about it but this isn’t the way i want to live.

We deserve more in life than this, did you know that 5% of the people have 95% of the world money? Do you think it’s fair? No. Do you think we could do something about it? Not really. The best we could do is know this and try to make it a bit better for us, look for opportunities, can’t see them? MAKE THEM!

Remember you are not a robot, you are a human being and you deserve better than an ordinary job that doesn’t help you. All the best my friend.

Were do we draw the line?

I sometimes find myself in a big dilemma: to finish what i started even if this means doing unhealthy things to my body or to take a pause and loose the driving force, resulting in loosing interest and mood?

Don’t you find yourself in the same situation sometimes, when you find yourself working late at night to finish something important, even if you know tomorrow is another day, but you know you have to finish it tonight! For as long as i can remember i’ve been like this, when i started something, i wanted to finish it right then, NO PAUSE, just finish the current project and do it as good as possible!

I wonder why do we do this? Is it the satisfaction we get out of doing it? Is it that we don’t know prioritize our time too good, so you now it’s now or maybe never? Is it guilt that pushes us? Is it passion? Whatever the reason might be, one thing is certain, we must know about it, to stop and think if it’s worth it to do that right now? The answer is yours, and only yours my friend.

You never know what you are capable of, until you do it!

A couple of days ago, i’ve decided to do something not many people would do, including me, walk a distance of 10 km back home when i had so many choices of transportation. 99% of the people won’t do it for the 99% of the time because it takes a lot of time, 3x-5x more (it’s a crowded city), or they simpl y don’t see it as an option being something that “crazy people” would do. I did it and i felt great, next time i’m aiming either to go faster, either increase the distance, not only do you get a “tourist view” of the city you also get more health, and other people tend do appreciate you more, it’s a nice bonus

Yesterday, on the 1st of april, the bus company had a strike, they didn’t even announce it, people weren’t prepared, including my parents. Fortunately we still had the subway, but my father decided to skip the subway and walk to work (aprox. 9 km), i was very surprised, pleasantly surprised, since he doesn’t even use the stairs, to reach the 4th floor, he doesn’t like to exercise too much.

I asked him: “Why did you do it?” You could use the family car, the subway, taxi… ?”, he replied: “You did it, so i decided it’s possible for me to do it as well!”

When you achieve something that is a little out of the ordinary, people around you get inspired, and they want to prove they could do also!

Rise with the Sun, fall with the Sun!

I have to admit that i was never a morning person, it was a real pain to wake up early in the morning so i preferred to sleep later and wake up later whenever possible, but i felt i wasn’t using my full potential.

During the day i was in a sleepy state, i wasn’t really in the mood to do many great little things that could help me later on. All the people i knew told me that it is not healthy, you eat, drink, think healthy but if you don’t sleep healthy it’s all in vain. Then it finally happened, i got so much pain about unhealthy sleeping that i had to change. I believe that you can’t trully change a habit until you got enougt pain and enough pleasure to change it.

The advantages are many when you wake up early, and go to sleep early as well like a lot more sunlight, have more energy, more time to spend with friends, more time for productive work and of course better health!

How well do you sleep?

Design your life!

Do you know were your life is heading? Do you have a plan for your life? Or you leave it by mere chance, or worse let others tell you what to do in your life? Is this the life you want? If not, i’ll give you a small “life guide” to stay on the right track.

Steps:

1. What is your dream? Define it very clearly, how do you know if you designed it good enough? It’s simple, the dream with the greatest intensity that gives you ultimate pleasure and peace of mind is the one for you. Don’t worry if it’s not perfect, it doesn’t need to be, you can improve it later

2. Break your dream into big goals you need to achieve, give them deadlines, then break those big goals into smaller, medium goals, put deadlines on them as well, continue doing this until you have action steps!

3. Keep doing what works, stop doing what doesn’t work.

Basic idea: Do more in less time, prioritize, act now!

He who does the unimportant stuff will do the important ones as well!

You might believe that people who don’t want to do simple basic tasks and always talk about their vision of the future “save” themselves for the important things that matter in life, well for most of them it’s hardly the case. Why do i say that?

History proved time and time again that the people whom we admire today were great because they weren’t afraid to do the basic stuff, you can’t jump a high gap without a bridge, by doing the basic stuff you get a deeper understanding and better self control, also when an object is moving, it will tend to keep moving (physic law).

Just think about it, when you accomplished a task, no matter how small, how do you feel? Pretty good, so good in fact, you can’t wait to start another task, there’s a special feeling when you successfully finish a goal. Now think of those days you procrastinated, did you wanted to start anything? Most likely not, you would probably watch tv or browse the internet to don’t feel guilty you aren’t doing something constructive.

But remember, don’t fall in the trap of everyday activities, most of witch you can skip, like senseless internet browsing or 4 hours of TV. If you find yourself excusing yourself for not working on your goals with: “I got caught up!” then get out of it as soon as possible!